What is value? How do we determine what has value?

Something’s value is determined at what we will give up to have it.

So, I ask - what are we willing to give up to have that thing of value we hold so dear?

The past month or so, we have been going through the parables of Jesus at church. Every teaching and truth of Jesus is meant to draw us closer to God, not to pull us away. When we hear the Gospel and the truths Jesus commanded, it can cause us to become uncomfortable. Messy, deep-rooted, discomfort that we just want to run away from which in turn is really reflecting our current status of our true hearts/lives. It brings up past/current events, past/current feelings, and convictions in our lives that we'd rather stay hidden. If this is an issue for you, your issue is not with the pastor or writer and simply disagreeing with their words or beliefs - the root of the issue you have is with Jesus. It may reflect the current state of where you are in relation to God. What the Gospel does is that it drives us into intimacy with God because of the love it pours out. If you try to replace knowledge or feelings with the Gospel, it will produce a lot of self-righteousness and no intimacy in Christ. Jesus both teaches and warns us. If our lives don’t match with what Jesus is teaching, it is revealing how far our lives are from being centered on God. 

If we want to experience and take part in the Kingdom of Heaven, we have to equate it to the Kingdom of God. We should be willing to give up anything and everything we have. It is the Gospel taking root in our lives and living our lives that reflects the Kingdom of God; it is not us continuing to live by our agenda or our desires. It is coming to know that wherever and however God is at work in our lives and circumstances, everything centers and revolves around God. And I am not talking about a distant hope of what we will get to experience one day in Heaven - we get to take part of it right here, right now - because of Jesus and the Gospel! 



So how do we get to take part in the Kingdom of Heaven/God? We have to recognize first that the Kingdom of God is constantly competing with the Kingdom of Me. God isn’t 2nd, 3rd, or 4th or on a shelf in our lives. He is to be first and centered. When we live our lives in accordance with the Kingdom of Heaven/God, everything else will properly prioritize itself in accordance to His agenda and desires. I know that is hard for us to imagine without seeing it first, but we are told to live by faith, and not by sight. 

There are also some truths about the Gospel that we need to lean into:
First, the Gospel is hidden, like hidden treasure. The Gospel is so valuable and precious because of what it has to offer that nothing else can compete with. Yet to receive the Gospel, it is so simple. As Jesus said, all it takes is child-like faith.

There is a power and ability only found in that of the Gospel. Those who listen, not just hear; those who look, but don’t see; those who are aware but don't ignore having Jesus center (and not themselves) find the truth of the Gospel. It is no longer hidden to us because of the presence of God in our lives. The Gospel continues to stay hidden to those just hear, but don't listen; to those who just see, but don't look; to those who are aware but choose to ignore having Jesus center and first. Those who stay hidden from the Gospel don’t want to put their own pride and selfishness aside.

Second, the Gospel produces joy. Joy is one of the fruit of the spirits we receive and experience when we go deeper and more intimate with the Gospel, and focus on God's love, kindness, mercy, grace - we get to experience the Kingdom of God! There are a lot of things that will promise joy and satisfaction this world. And for awhile those "promises" will make us happy and satisfy us, but it will not last. We will constantly seek this next thrill of success, the next feeling of contentment, the next "if I just have this...then" moment...and so on. 

John 10:10

10 The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. 

My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.

Outside of Christ, nothing will last, nothing will satisfy. Whatever we are chasing, if it is outside of Christ, it will crumble and break apart. The Gospel in itself though reveals that if every dynamic in our lives is based and centered on Christ, there are fruits produced. TRUE JOY. And Patience. Goodness. Gentleness. Love. Peace. Kindness. Faithfulness. Self-Control. Even in the sorrows, sufferings, and pain. Even in the brokenness, we can still have joy, because of Jesus.

Third: So what are we living for then? We have to really look deep within ourselves and ask if Christ is the center of our lives. Or do we have idols in our lives that we replace in lieu of Jesus? If we do, the Kingdom of God and the fruits of the spirit that come from Him are not being produced in our lives. And we have to stop jumping on the bandwagon of people who are having fruits produced in their lives. We have to allow Jesus to start creating our own. 

We got the Gospel wrong when we look at it like this:

1. A To-Do List = we have to do all these things to be right with God and for Him to accept us when we have it all together
2. A Ball/Chain Effect = something we do that we don’t want us to do

We have to get rid of this idea that God doesn’t want us to be happy. It’s not that God doesn’t want us to be happy, but He does get angry for us when we find/seek happiness in things outside of Him. What we don’t realize is that the things we fear we would have to give up that produce happiness in our lives, can be truly found in Him and produce true and lasting happiness.



When we read Matthew 19, we read of the man who followed all laws according to the commandments and asked what else he could do to follow Jesus. Jesus literally asked him to sell all his possessions and be a literal follower/disciple of Jesus. The man could not give up His possessions and life for Christ.

The standard is set and response is demanded.

Jesus put it as simple as possible. He set the standard. We don't set the standard. The response is demanded. It isn't a negotiation. Is there anything in your life that you are holding back? “I will follow you Jesus but I am going to hold onto this in my life. I’m going to continue living the same life and doing the same thing. I’ll follow you, but just don’t take away this.” If these are our thoughts, we have idols we are not willing to give up for a life with and in Jesus.

And He wasn't talking about just the tangible and materialized possessions we carry and place great value on. Jesus doesn't need our things. He doesn't need our money. 

He wants our hearts people. That is what He holds the most value on. It is why He came down from heaven and endured what no other could for our hearts, lives, and the promise of whoever chooses Him would have eternity with Him. He wants us to lean into Him, trust Him, realize all of our worth and value comes from Him, and to depend on Him. No one else. Nothing else. 

We need to find the idols in our lives that prevent us from choosing Jesus. We need to go beyond the ones that are the most noticeable/tangible and seek the ones that can even be daily tensions in our lives. We have to look at the whats/hows/whys of our priorities. What do we prioritize, in what order, and why??? 

I illustrate that to a circle with rings around it. Jesus is in the center. The next circle line around that is my husband/marriage. Then follows my family, my community/tribe, my work, ministry, and then everything else falls behind and in line. My strength, hope, joy, truth, and love that I receive comes from the center, Jesus, and then every line of priorities outside of that is only as strong as my center and foundation are. 

My idols that stood in the way of just following Jesus for so many years were over the fact that I prioritized my feelings and my past. I didn't want to let them go and let Jesus fill me and suffice me. I believed in Jesus, but I wasn't following Jesus. How many of us have been there or maybe are there? I cared more about what people thought of me and how they would react to this whole "Jesus" thing, I didn't want to lose certain people, I wanted to feel the justification of being "right" in my feelings from those who hurt me, caused disappointment, and I felt superior in the sense I thought it was enough that I myself was a decent and good human. I thought THAT was enough to get by on in this world. I believed so many lies that prevented me from following Jesus - and it was my own doing! My feelings were my choosing/doing. Then allowing myself to just hold onto those feelings for years were my choosing/doing. Saying I forgave someone but then using the past against them in any moment I could to feel justification and self-rightousness - my choosing/doing! Thinking as long as I was a good person by society's standards weren't cutting it - and they don't cut it. We aren't to live by the world's standards and what they deem is good, right, and worthy. 

Side Note: It took A LOT of breaking down, building back up, breaking down again, therapy, crying out to God, wondering if God was really for me, fighting with God, fighting with those around me that were trying to direct me to God, and even more therapy to really work on my idols and struggles I was holding onto. (I think therapy is great for anyone and everyone!!!) So I totally get it when you say your struggles are real and your hurt is real. It took me years to find my way back to Jesus. But running away from MY issues (these are YOUR issues, no one else) and God is not the answer. Outside of Christ, I cared more about what people thought and how my decisions with choosing God would affect them or affect our relationships - I missed the mark. I valued the satisfaction of holding on instead of dealing - I missed the mark. Pride, anger, hurt, self-rightousness, resentment, - we think as humans we are owed justification and righteousness to feel superior and better over others - when we hold each other's accounts of wrongs in a back pocket to use when we need to feel justified in our feelings and thoughts - I know I did - again, I missed the mark. For me, it came to a crashing moment in my life though where I realized I had nothing else to lose that I was no longer in fear of losing and everything to gain in Christ. The things I have lost in Christ were never meant to be shared in Christ, and outside of Christ, they created chaos, hurt, disappointment, fear, worry, doubt. 

Today, I still struggle with my priorities and having idols in the way of Jesus. If I choose my work over my marriage, I am allowing that to be an idol in the way of my husband and Jesus. If I choose ministry and the tasks I find myself handling on Sundays over connecting with my church family and individuals, I am putting that ahead of my priority of tribe and Jesus. In any circumstance or season, if I am not allowing myself to choose Jesus in every circumstance and prioritize in accordance with Jesus being first and center, then I am choosing to not be like and be with Jesus. If I am placing some priorities in places of value they shouldn't be in, have I done the same with Jesus? If I have re-arragned areas of my life to hold more value with because I THINK they are more befitting in their places, what have I done with Jesus? Where have I tried to re-arrange Him and negotiate Him into my life?

Choosing to be a follower of Christ doesn't mean everything is easy now. It doesn't promise that everything will now be perfect and happy 24/7. But what it does mean that in Christ and following Christ, we have a solid foundation to stand on when life does get messy and broken. There will continue to be seasons and moments where everything around may seem like it's falling apart, but God stays rooted and will not crumble. We can seek refuge in Him. No matter what. What you think you aren't capable of doing - great, start from there - because we aren't capable, but God is! And it’s not that we won’t ever measure up and perfect our lives for God - it’s the fact that we don’t have to because Jesus gave us hope, security, love, and grace with a life in Him and only in Him. We will never find these produced in our lives if we continue to run the other way and do our lives alone and without those who encourage, help, and point us to Jesus. 

Finding Our Integrity as Women Leads to Truth and Closeness

Difficult conversations or conflict are hard. No way else around it. Confrontation is usually something I rather seek in the midst of conflicts because I know that once we hurdle over the climax of the conversation/situation, the various paths of healing, restoration, understanding, or sometimes choosing to parts paths peacefully are opened up. The worse is over and now there are endless possibilities for restoring the relationship or situation. 

I don't necessarily choose this every day and in each of my relationships or situations, but it is something that grows inside of me and yearns to come out when needed. I tend to struggle in connecting with people and sustaining relationships because most people are the complete opposite. "I LOVE CONFRONTATION!!!" (said no one ever.) 

I have been told by many that I carry the title of Truth-Teller, which by definition it usually means someone who speaks the truth in difficult circumstance, or tells "truths" which are widely unpopular. Now, let me just get it out and say upfront, I don't always get it right.

“I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— the Spirit of truth … I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you” (John 14:16–18). 

God has really been speaking this on my heart over the last two months over what it really means to live within the truth and applying that into daily actions and words, but also revealing the circumstances that truth can so easily get twisted into something it is not. I bring up a dreaded topic - especially amongst women - GOSSIP!

Who hasn't been involved in some form of gossip? Gossip attracts women like honey does bees. We all think we aren't gossiping, when in fact, we are! Re-telling someone a story about so-and-so could do no harm - I mean what are the chances they would even find out? Well...probably there is little chance they would, but does that still make it okay? We have all been affected by it. We have all participated in it, we have gossiped and been gossiped about. We live in a time where we crave to know what is going on in each other's live and why so-and-so posted this or that on social media - we have become obsessed with knowing every detail about each other. I am sure people will even want to speculate why I have written on this. HAHA!

I think gossip and holding onto what is truth effects us more than we know. We aren't perfect, but part of walking with God is growing in perfection. So, today I make a commitment to honesty, no matter how personally difficult it is. I share with you how I seek that in my daily life and in the relationships that matter most to me. 

As Karen Ehman tells us from her book 'Keep It Shut' - “a half-truth is still a whole lie.” God cares about what may seem like harmless little lies: “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much” (Luke 16:10).

- Living with a Spirit of Integrity

• The dictionary defines integrity as “a firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values, or incorruptibility; incapable of being bribed or morally corrupted.” In the Bible, the Hebrew word translated “integrity” in the Old Testament means “the condition of being without blemish, completeness, perfection, sincerity, soundness, uprightness, wholeness.” Integrity in the New Testament means “honesty and adherence to a pattern of good works.” 
• Jesus was the perfect and only example of a man of integrity. He is the only one who was ever without blemish, perfect, completely truthful, and always showing a pattern of good works. As sinners, our integrity is flawed, but Jesus' integrity is perfect. We are only able to get a sense of this new spirit of integrity when we are "in Christ"  because it is His nature.
• The Bible also describes integrity as the truth. So what is the truth? Jesus is the only real truth and only through Him can we obtain eternal life. Many times, Jesus prefaced His words by saying, “Truly, I say to you,” which, in essence, means “I tell you the truth.” Jesus never lied, and His actions defined integrity.
• Integrity = Truth. Truth = Integrity. We should always seek truth in our relationships. The foundation of truth is integrity, and out of that builds trust and respect.  If that foundation of integrity is flawed or weak, it is impossible to build the necessary trust required to maintain successful, positive relationships. 

- Separating Godly Talk and Gossip

• First, we need to admit one thing - we have a gossip problem no matter you are a follower in Christ or not. It is rooted within our nature and society. There is an industry built through social media and media news solely based on gossip and rumors that they try and sell off as truth! There is only one truth about gossip = it ruins reputations and destroys friendships.
• While my personal battle isn't with confronting a situation or person as some battle with, my internal struggle tends to come out in the opposite form of sitting with someone who is talking about someone else or a situation they were witnessed to and I was not. OR me going to someone to get it all out about what so-and-so said about me or what they did to me directly or indirectly and wanting to gain that person on "my side". I know we all need to vent at times, but when nothing comes out of the conversation that is pointing us back to Christ or healing with another, it deeply teeters on the line of gossip. We should seek friendships that will hold us accountable to our walk and actions.
• Proverbs tells us that gossip "betrays a confidence" (11:13) and "separates close friends" (16:28). 
• When we talk about others behind their back, we're inflicting an emotional pain on them and creating a line of division. Instead of punching them in the nose, we're shooting daggers into their hearts. As Christians, we're supposed to honor God in all areas of our lives. Talking negatively about friends or a situation does not show Christ's unconditional love. God wants us to honor Him and honor others with our words = Psalm 141:3 “Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.”
• If you find yourself on either end, I would urge you to seek prayer and guidance from someone who will not participate but point you into dealing and confronting the person or situation. We will still all struggle to deal with gossip, whether it be as a recipient or a participant. But the more I learn about God's love, the more I realize the importance of encouraging others — and that never includes gossip. 

I know that every word I speak is important. Choosing truth and integrity is hard, especially when it reveals a weakness of mine. Choosing to not participate in the gossip of others and instead praying for others is hard, especially when we may think it as harmless.  I acknowledge the times I’ve been deceptive in order to manipulate the opinions of others. I want to be a woman who is filled with God's truth. Yet with God’s help, I’m making progress to become the woman of integrity He’s called me to be and uncovering whatever stands in the way of becoming that woman.

Practice Doesn't Make Perfect

Earlier last week, I came across many one-on-one conversations with my 8-year-old niece Reagan who was visiting for the holidays. She would constantly ask me how I did this or how I did that, wanting to know my inner secrets, so she could attempt and perfect in one try, and be like her amazingly talented Aunt (insert audience laughs). 

My response was always to her that nothing comes easy, and that actually a lot of things take hard work and practice. By the end of the week, whenever she would ask me the same questions again, before I could sputter out the words "Well...", she would respond, "I know what you are going to say...that it takes hard work and practice." I believe a few eye rolls were inserted somewhere in between her words as well - I tried my best to ignore those. 

Trying to explain that perfection doesn't exist outside of Christ was a little difficult to fully communicate to an 8-year-old, but what I realized was that it's difficult to even process myself. What I saw in her throughout our conversations is that she strives for perfection and to achieve anything and everything that comes her way - but I also saw my own doubts and anxieties I face in what I cannot fully understand immediately or cannot control myself through her and our conversations. I saw myself in my 8-year-old - which could be good and bad (sorry Nat and Jason!!!)

Oh, and that it only took me a conversation that I had tonight with my husband to make that connection. Talk about mind explosion! God used Reagan to speak to me when I thought I was speaking to her.  

As my own passions and talents grow, the discouragement in my own mind only seems to get louder. The deeper I want to grow and the braver the work is in front of me, the more resistance I face. I am finally calling out to God for fresh perspective, courage, and perseverance. I pray for a revival in my heart that will spark flames of it in others. We are all fighting the same fights. We are all fighting the resistance to CREATE. God is the creator of creatives. It is through Him, with Him, for Him and because of Him that we build and dream and create! God, stir and move me. I am yours!

"When God births a burden in your heart, lean into it." - Andy Stanley

1 1)   Stop comparing yourself to other people's callings, gifts, and talents.

§  You are uniquely made - there is no one like you and there is no one that can offer/give what you can

§  God doesn't call just one of us to do one particular calling 

22)   Surround yourself with those who support you, encourage you, pick you up, and cheer you on!

33)   Remember why you are called and what your calling is. 

§  Write down/document the point of when God revealed to you His unique calling for you and your "why" - in times of discouragement and doubt, recall and cling to this!

44)   ADMIT IT NOW - Perfection will never come!

§  "Grow His Kingdom, not yours. You will mess up, you will get lost, but when you do, choose grace and then keep going". Jess Connolly

55)   God has the power to create something extraordinary in and through our seasons of wrestling with doubts and despairs. 

§  God = The Dream Giver

o  Christ will redeem

o  Christ will inspire

o  Christ will build something bigger than us

Whatever we do in Christ, there will always be a journey. This will include joys, weariness, fears, success, loss, restoration, creativity, brokenness, rest, and nothing. On any given day, no matter what you face, stay connected to the Dream Giver through prayer and His word. Let our prayers restore hope, conviction, encouragement, and guidance. And remember that He can even use a conversation with an 8-year-old to speak to you and show you His truth. 

Authenticity & Transparency in Leading

Today's Devotional on Leading and Loving It:

Kay Warren

"While authenticity & transparency are often talked about simultaneously, they are really quite different. Authenticity is you being genuinely you no matter the location, situation, or audience watching. No masks. No fake. No phoniness. Just you being the imperfect, yet uniquely gifted person you are. 

However, transparency is something else. Being transparent is being completely see-through. This is allowing people into the deeply personal, private side of your life sharing your intimate struggles & celebrations, challenges & victories. It’s not necessary to be completely transparent with everyone, but we absolutely must be transparent with a few someones. We allow people into the very private side of our lives because accountability is only as good as the transparency & trust you are able to bring into a few relationships. 

Not being completely transparent with every person you lock eyes with doesn’t mean that you are inauthentic. It does mean that you are protecting part of your private life, & you certainly have that right. Be careful to always be authentically you, because our public lives should always be a reflection of our private lives. 

Take some time to examine your private life. What, if anything, is not being reflected in your public life? Take that to God today."

My Personal Reflection:

I always strive to be as authentic & transparent of who I am, regardless of who it is around or how uncomfortable it can be, with of course certain necessary boundaries in place. I've learned those are some of my strongest attributes, while I know it can still be a daily struggle for myself or something others deeply struggle with. 

Trust me though, I wasn't always strong in those areas. After going through an AMAZING ministry like Restoration, it is so vitally important to be true to who you are, even in the good or bad time, & to allow a certain degree of vulnerability that can be uncomfortable. 

I honestly think it can be a little too easy to be that family member, friend, or leader who is always open & honest - in other words, telling it like it is to those around us who need to hear it. But what we all can fall short in is with applying that same hard truth to ourselves & allowing to confront our own issues, maybe even the same ones, we see in others. Are we telling it like it is to ourselves or going to people who may need to bring forth certain truths to us? I firmly believe that when someone confides in us, we can give all the hard truths in words to that person, but we can also take it & see where do we stand in that same hardship, so that we can always give the most authentic & transparent wisdom to them. I don't believe God brings forth anything to us for no reason & what someone else is struggling with, we can always turn around to apply those truths to ourselves. 

Regardless of position, none of us are see all/know all - that wisdom, authority & position is reserved for the great man upstairs! It is something I had to truly even humble myself in the past week & realize I am no better or above any person whether in my marriage, running a company, my personal & family life, or in church life & the worship ministry. My gift/talent is music, but my passion is connecting with people & showing hospitality to those who need to know they are valued in love because I know I struggle with it myself.   God wants us to boldly come before His throne, & bow before him in a contrite & broken spirit. No one ever has it all together - that is NOT the norm. We have to examine our posture. Are we bowed in holy reverence or are arms raised in joyous praise, regardless of our circumstances? 

No posture is greater than another. We all bring something valuable to the table that is essentially vital to build things into something great - God sees & He honors that. Now, leadership does place certain levels of responsibility & authority over others, but we must always remember where our heart is in those moments & to never overstep that places us in the sense we are above others because we have THAT authority or we may be at different walks of life.

To end this, the most each of us can do is to continue to pray, invest, & get deeper with those God has placed around us. Being a leader can be tough - you may find yourself questioning your next action or decision, because you are passionate about what you are leading & setting an example in. When we remain obedient in Him, this is what will continue to transform our lives, the lives of others, & grow the kingdom of God. This only can take place thought deeper authenticity, transparency, vulnerability, & examining our hearts & attitudes. 

So...nothing is ever perfect...

::GASP:: Yes it's true! 

Now...please, do not get me wrong - I constantly hear from family and friends who attended our wedding that it was one of the most beautiful, elegant, and fun weddings!  I don't doubt this for a second and it makes me happy to hear!  We were also extremely blessed in how God provided us with amazing connections and people in our lives who helped make it that. 

The sad truth is, internally - and I feel this is something that so many of us experience yet we keep it shut inside - I was so stressed about it all and I felt so alone.  I was so focused on having the perfect wedding and that NOTHING would or could go wrong.  (HAHA - Yes I can laugh at that thought now!)  I was putting so much trust and expectations onto certain people around me, that I set my self up for MAJOR disappointment.

I am that person that when I start to reflect on the past, I tend to notice only the regrets and the things I cannot change, never realizing that I couldn't have changed it then either.  Why?  Because you cannot change people. I am not God. 

I felt like I was completely alone in my feelings and thoughts, as if I was the only one ever to experience what I had gone through.  In an even more honest and vulnerable statement, the heartache and fallout that came before and after our wedding caused a deep depression in me. It was not pretty at all, and it something I have struggled with since.  You know those thoughts that so easily creep in - we all get them - "Will I ever be good enough?  Will I ever be appreciated and accepted by certain people?"  I find myself more worried of validation from people who are in no place themselves to be giving me validation/judgement; and less worried of where true validation, worth, satisfaction, and truth comes from. I need to turn my eyes and heart towards Him. Only He can satisfy.

Validation from others can be a wonderful, beautiful thing.

But if our need for it makes us develop unrealistic expectations, we'll exhaust our relationships.

There are some deep soul needs that can only be met by God alone. ut I have learned through some pretty amazing people around me now, that I am not alone.  And I can move forward from those feelings that have made me feel stuck. 

My biggest and only true regret = planning a wedding basically for everyone else.  We did not put the focus on Carlos and I, and we did not place God in the center of us.  We went out of our way to make sure everyone else had what they needed, that they were happy, and in turn, hardly anyone asked us if we had what WE needed and to make sure we were happy.  That's who we are - we love to serve others and be there for others as much as we can - the hard truth is we live in a broken world and sometimes those closest to us don't hold the same values and characteristics as us. We wish we could have focused on what mattered the most by staying true to who we are and establishing certain boundaries!  But this saying is true and resonates with me daily...

What My Wedding Day DID Teach Me: 

1. We married each other - and made the covenant on that day before God that we would center ourselves in Christ. We committed to one another that Christ is first in both our hearts and daily lives, and through us, He will bless our marriage and the life we are building together. We committed to each other being second after Christ, but number 1 before anyone or anything else. He is my soulmate - he is my family.  The issues that other people in our lives have are not our problems to fix and fret over.  We CANNOT let others steal our joy or to come between the two of us. 

1. When all seems lost, the man I married has always been there for me when I need him.  Isn't it amazing to think how God uniquely created someone for you?  He IS my person, my best friend, my confidant, the love of my life, and I find so much of my comfort and peace in him!  We are not perfect at all - but God brought two imperfect people together for His perfect plan - we refuse to give up on one another and we have learned what true forgiveness, grace, and unconditional love is.  We may not always do it right or get it right the first time around, but we have THE master-planner guiding us along the way when we get off track.  

1. And ultimately, I learned that I want our marriage to continue to celebrate our love.  I want a marriage so much bigger than my wedding day.  I have been guilty of throwing it out there that my wedding was not the "best day of my life" - was it?  No, it wasn't!  BUT, I have however started to realize that it wasn't meant to be THE best day!  It was just another day in our lives, because one day doesn't determine our happiness.  One day doesn't determine the past success of our relationship or the future success of our marriage.
   

There are going to be many more monumental times of celebration in our life together that include what is the most important to us - each other, family, and personal successes/blessings!  Maybe one day, we'll decide to do a vow renewal that is centered around us and the foundation we build our marriage on - God.  But for now, it is time to let go of the wedding day and start embracing our marriage!

Whoever is reading this, I encourage you to find hope and peace in  either the same situation, or in any situation where satisfaction may not happen or you may find yourself disappointed in yourself or those around you.  The bad news - it will happen.  It is part of the human struggle called life.  But the amazing news?  We don't have to lose hope.  We don't have to  accept defeat.  We don't have to hide in our shame.  Do what I had to do - talk to someone you can trust, and in your quiet/alone time, make a list of what went wrong and what went right.  You will be amazed like I was to examine that the things that went wrong, were not your fault nor did they reflect you as a person.  It gave me insight to what it reflected in those around me and that those are their issues to work on.  We all have enough of those, that we don't need to taking on others too. lol. But seriously, it helps - and continue to put your focus into what matters now - if you have a growing current relationship with Christ or you're still discovering what that is or what that looks like and on your marriage and family/friends that support and encourage you. 

"Love others to the deepest of levels - if not, you are missing out on what matters most."

But the greatest of these is love.

Yesterday, the American people seemed to take a seismic shift with the decision of the SCOTUS' ruling regarding same-sex marriage.  Those who know me know without question, that I am a Christian.  I tend to not put my own opinions and beliefs publicly out there on a daily rant.

First, for those who are worried and anxious on how this will affect their churches, I will post this from page 27 under the "Opinion of the Court":

"Finally, it must be emphasized that religions, and those who adhere to religious doctrines, may continue to advocate with utmost, sincere conviction that, by divine precepts, same-sex marriage should not be condoned. The First Amendment ensures that religious organizations and persons are given proper protection as they seek to teach the principles that are so fulfilling and so central to their lives and faiths, and to their own deep aspirations to continue the family structure they have long revered. The same is true of those who oppose same-sex marriage for other reasons. In turn, those who believe allowing same-sex marriage is proper or indeed essential, whether as a matter of religious conviction or secular belief, may engage those who disagree with their view in an open and searching debate. The Constitution, however, does not permit the State to bar same-sex couples from marriage on the same terms as accorded to couples of the opposite sex."

Churches of any faith are still protected under the 1st amendment, so those FREAKING out need to calm down and get educated. It's. Not. That. Hard.  I believe there are something our founding fathers called "separation of church and state.” 

Also:

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Ph. 4:6-7)

I was reading one blog yesterday and I came across this:

“We must remember: God is God.  How he deals with each of us in our sin and brokenness—whatever that struggle may be—is ultimately God’s business.”

I’m not looking to get into a debate with anyone over this. I just wanted to personally express my views, whether you agree with them or not. We all have that fundamental right, no?  My problems are my problems and God’s problem.  I am to focus on my own sins and where I fall before I can help pick up a friend and give them encouragement that I fail to give myself.  I cannot help another when I cannot even help myself.  We all need to look inside our own hearts and be awaken to the many imperfections God is still trying to grasp hold of.   

Personally, no one's marriage or rights before the law infringe on my personal beliefs, my own marriage, or my relationship with Christ.  It also does not change how I choose to interact or love people who have different opinions or lifestyles than I do.  In fact, a very fundamental core of my Christian beliefs call me to love all people.  My relationship with Christ helps me to love that person who stands on the other side of ANY issue, because it is what Christ would do.  He would not yell or belittle that person.  He would definitely have conversation with them though.  As Max Lucado put it, "Something good will come out of this.  Maybe now we can have this discussion where we need to have it.  Face-to-face.  In neighborhoods.  Over dinner tables.  Perhaps the hate-filled words will subside and clear thinking will gain traction; the shouting will diminish and the heart-felt dialogue will increase."

I also know of too many people who do not uphold or value marriage in the same respect that I do - whether they are Christians, Jews, Muslims, Atheists, Agnostic, or whatever...but guess what?  They still get married every day because marriage is no longer just a fundamental Christian sacrament reserved only for us.  It is a societal and government right. No two people from any of these groups, or even within the Christian denomination, are going to have the same outlook on marriage that my husband and I hold.  Just because anyone I come into contact with is going to have a personal view of what marriage should be or should not be, it still does not and will not change my view for my own marriage. And it should not.  This does not mean I am 100% condoning anything, so please do not twist my words. Take them for what they are. 

To my Christian friends, I have also seen so many comments thrown out such as accountability of another's sin, forgiveness, repentance, and grace.  First, if you are in the authority to hold another accountable for their sin, please be sure you are extending this to any type of sin - not just the ones you see fit.  It is also best if that person has come to you to hold them accountable, and mostly remember this: you CANNOT and will NOT change anyone. Yes, our relationships with Christ offer the gifts of forgiveness, repentence, and grace, but this can only come from God. Our relationships with God are also individual matter's of the heart. No man can offer these gifts. I do not need man's approval or grace - so why are we still trying to seek these??? Please do not also say that you are going down the better path of righteousness because when you fall, you seek forgiveness from our loving Father, and repent of it. That is a wonderful thing you are doing, and I am honestly not trying to take away from that, but you are not free from that sin and you have not broken the seal of it either - only Christ did that when He died on the cross.  Only He has waged the war on death and overcame it.  You are not God - you are human and imperfect.  How long do you go until you commit that same sin again or commit a different sin?  Are you really that different then from what you feel so threatened by? And it is not my job as a sister in Christ to confront you every single time you fall. Let's be honest for a second - I sin probably way more times throughout my day than I naively even realize, whether it be in my thoughts or actions. 

Throughout all of this, I feel we have all personally hit the overall mark. So yay! #loveforall and #lovewins - but are we really and truly ALL acting in that same love we are so eagerly fighting for?  I have seen some personally disturbing and sad comments towards those who are in support of gay marriage, as well as equally disturbing and sad comments towards those who identify within the Christian religion.  It is equally hurtful when there are those who make comments that Christianity is crumbling, we are a bunch of crazies who are full of ignorant beliefs.  If you have encountered this, I am sorry.  Not that it is my apology to give or should I need to give it, but I hope in the future you can have a better encounter with a Christian person, and truly see the heart that lies within - just like you are asking for today.  You cannot be celebrating any kind of love, yet be tearing down and demeaning anyone.  It does not work that way.  It distorts the very simplistic idea and pureness of love.  Sorry, but it does not make you better than the next person, regardless of your views and whether you think you are right and they are wrong. 

“God’s love is limitless and extends to all humankind.  His love includes gay men and women; it includes all sinners—including you and me.  Let’s make sure we are absolutely clear on this point: Jesus’ life on earth showed us that he extended great love to all of humanity, including those society deemed as “unworthy” of love.”